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Thursday, January 23, 2025

For The Love Of God, Do not Attempt To Shoot Down Drones, Even If You Suppose They’re Alien Invaders


Of us in and round New Jersey misplaced their minds lately, and never simply because they heard rumors that folks may be allowed to pump their very own gasoline. No, it’s as a result of they hold seeing issues within the sky that will or is probably not drones, and it brought on them to utterly freak the fuck out. Is it aliens? China? Aliens working with China? The official line is {that a} change within the legislation now permits folks to fly drones at evening, and that’s accountable for a lot of the sightings. I can’t say for positive, however what I’ll say is that you shouldn’t shoot at these issues within the sky below any circumstances.

For those who legitimately imagine we’re being invaded, it’s comprehensible that you just may need to stand your floor. That is America, in any case. We’re the land of the free and the house of the courageous, and don’t you dare inform us in regards to the absolute sea of asterisks that come connected to these statements until you need to get shot, too. Heck, we even lately started an experiment to see if we might remedy our healthcare disaster with gun violence.

Identical to when Luigi Macaroni allegedly killed that insurance coverage CEO, although, when you get caught taking pictures at unknown issues within the sky, the police will arrest you, authorities will cost you with numerous crimes and also you or your loved ones can be compelled to spend a small fortune on legal professionals earlier than you’re inevitably convicted and punished. Even when you don’t get caught, it’s nonetheless an extremely reckless and irresponsible factor to do as a result of there’s a good probability that soiled, pink commie drone you noticed was only a common plane with precise folks inside, and you may simply kill them since, you already know, you’re taking pictures a gun at an object within the sky, and that’s what weapons do. They kill issues.

In truth, the freakout has gotten so dangerous that the FBI lately issued a warning in opposition to taking pictures at objects within the sky, in addition to shining laser pointers at them. As a result of apparently that must be relitigated once more. Sure, it’s nonetheless unlawful to shine lasers at plane. In truth, earlier this yr, a person who did precisely that bought eight months in jail. Even when you suppose you’re powerful, are you eight-months-in-prison powerful? No? Precisely.

Other than the hazard to different folks’s lives and danger of going to jail when you’re caught, taking pictures at plane additionally violates one of the crucial primary guidelines of gun security. You’re alleged to know what you’re taking pictures at earlier than you pull the set off, in addition to what’s behind the factor you’re taking pictures at. There’s simply as a lot of an opportunity that you just’re taking pictures at a aircraft, helicopter and even the celebrities that kind Orion’s belt as there may be that you just’re about to take down an alien starship or a drone managed by the Chinese language navy. And if we don’t know what it’s, we don’t shoot at it.

That’s most likely an excessive amount of to ask from folks with the identical lead-addled brains that determined Trump deserved a second time period in workplace, however hey, you possibly can’t say we didn’t warn you, Marge. For those who get arrested for taking pictures down a drone or shining a laser pointer at a helicopter, it positive as hell received’t be Jalopnik’s fault.

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